There Is More To Family Than Blood
by TheDarknessIsInMe
Summary: * REPOST, IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTES INSIDE * Amy Tucker moved to Port Charles to confront a birth mother (Sam Morgan) that she thinks never wanted her in the first place. Now that she's lived here a while, she's starting to realize that it takes more than blood to make a family, and that she's found it among new friends. But will she finally bond with her family? Fall in love?
1. authors notes and character bio

**I do not own general hospital or it's storylines, characters, etc. Trust me, people, if I owned General Hospital, a lot of the men not on there anymore would still be there and we'd have our damn JaSam. As well as several other things I want. This is not being done for profit or anything, and it will be au, so there will be past present and future plot/history/etc changes. Sorry if you don't like this, this is just how I wanted to do things.**

* * *

><p><strong>PAIRINGS:<strong>

**alexis x julian - because I love them together, so sexy.**

**johnny x lulu - because to me, they were so much better together than dante x lulu**

**Ethina - because I love ethan and kristina**

**Rally - Because I loved Rafe and molly.**

**Maxie x Spinelli - because, spixie, damn it, lol :)**

**jasam - because duh, i love jasam.**

**&& this kind peoples, is where I need your helps.. Kinda torn as to who I wanna pair Amy with. All her vitals are below AND on my profile (the links actually work there) but the choices I have in mind are :**

**Nathan West**

**Dante Falconeri**

**Michael Corinthos III**

**Morgan Corinthos**

**Suggest a guy from one of those guys, please? Because, yes, I'm torn. Badly torn. Leave suggestions in review or whatever...**

* * *

><p><strong>CHANGES MADE TO TIMELINE:<strong>

**Okay, so obviously, some huge changes had to be made to fix things the way I wanted them. In light of this, I've chosen to ignore the following story arcs:**

**1. Jason's Death, Sam's being with Silas or John.. Because Siam and McBam are good ships, don't get me wrong, but they are not my cup of tea. Jason never died. **

**2. Am ignoring Dante and Lulu ever happening. instead, she's married to Johnny and they have a son. His name is not Rocco. His name is Jonathan.**

**3. Spinelli and Maxie have their daughter together. They are happy and married.**

**4. Ava's kid is Sonny's, not Morgans. Because that just.. I hated that damn woman. If I could kill her and her offspring off, I'd do it. But I'm not really good at character deaths just yet. So for now, Ava and Kiki are both non issues. Kiki and Michael are not dating, neither are she and Morgan. Again, sorry to anyone who likes them, I just.. I really, really hate them both so much. God so much. So do not be surprised if at some point in all this Amy beats the living shit out of Kiki or something. :)**

** is alive, she's Jason's kid. Not Sonny's. I changed that because Sonny's got a million children already. Why give him one more? So Lila (who is kept at the age of 6, not soarsed, if anything, she's aged down) is Jason's and she's alive. Meaning that the storyline between Alexis and Sam didn't happen exactly as it did on the show either.**

**6. Sam gave Amy up when she was a con artist, before she ever came to Port Charles. Mostly, it was coersion on Amanda and Adam Tuckers parts respectively, but she was also doing what she thought was 'right' for Amy.**

* * *

><p><strong>+++ about amy, the original character +++<strong>

_(for the links to actually work, go to my bio/profile on here. they work there, you can clicky and see the things I envision as far as Amy's concerned. all the stuff below though, is pretty much amy's personality)_

NAME

_amy maeve tucker (monroe/mccall)_

NICKNAME

amy

mae

amy mae

AGE

_23_

DOB

_november 13th_

OCCUPATION(S)

_worked as a stripper while working in Las Vegas because she liked the work and the quick and easy money.__tending bar both in the past at various other bars & presently, in the Floating Rib__will be a part time student at PCU, will major in business (because she has aspirations to open her own garage or bar one day) while also minoring in both History (because she loves the subject and one of her 'fallback plans' in life is to be a junior high history teacher) and Nursing (she wants her nursing license because she happens to genuinely want to help the sick, plus this is another of her fallback plans, nurses will always be needed)__works at a garage, both in the past at various other towns, and presently, at an unnamed garage in Port Charles._

BIRTHPLACE

_chicago illinois_

CURRENT RESIDENCE

_has lived in Port Charles, New York for about 6 months now. When she reunites with her birth mother Sam, it will become her permanent residence._

BIOGRAPHY/OUTLINE OF MAJOR LIFE EVENTS

_Cheyenne was given up for adoption (with a lot of coersion due to facts to be explained within the story) by a woman named Angela Monroe who worked for her adoptive parents Adam and Amanda Tucker. The Tuckers were a prominent family, wealthy. And when Amanda realized what Adam had done to a young Angela, whom they'd taken in as 'an act of charity' but treated as nothing more than a common housekeeper/slave, she was angry and bitter, horrified. She pretended to care, she pretended to actually want a child, but really, all she wanted, was control of the situation, and to keep Adam's infidelity from getting out and ruining his political career and her free ride._

_Angela allowed Amanda to adopt Cheyenne, believing her lies, thinking that Amanda would care for a daughter she couldn't take care of at 16. She left Chicago and returned to her con artist lifestyle and the Tuckers raised Cheyenne as their own. Adam doted on Cheyenne because she was his daughter, the only piece he had left of Angela, who Amanda sent away, and he'd fallen in love with in his own sick way, and Amanda was distant at best._

_But over time, resentment and bitterness grew and this lead to Amanda's beginning (and frequent) mistreatment of Cheyenne, constantly telling her she was 'worthless' and that she'd be 'just like her mother, a whore who wrecked homes', but when Cheyenne was around 16 the truth came out. Adam had one too many to drink one night, and not only did he tell Cheyenne the truth about what he'd done, he told her the truth about her mother, and how he'd loved her then. Sickened, Cheyenne left home after a loud and angry confrontation with her adoptive mother Amanda. She hasn't been back to Chicago or in contact with either since her leaving the state shortly after graduation._

_The Tuckers allowed her to file for an emancipation at 16, but **only** after she blackmailed them with a tape of the conversation she and Adam had, in which he basically admitted to raping her real mother, as well as several other things he'd done that Amanda paid to have covered up just to further her husband's political aspirations. The tape didn't exist, but Cheyenne was nothing if not convincing. She also had documented proof of the way Amanda treated her as well and was threatening to go to the police with that, as well as a local newspaper, just to ruin Amanda's ambitions for her husband._

_After that, Cheyenne moved in with some friends until she turned 18 and graduated high school. During this time, the search for her real mother began. It continued through her remaining high school years, and when she graduated, she'd already compiled a basic 'trail' that she hoped would lead her to her birth mother, a woman named Angela Monroe._

_She went to all of Angela's last known places, not staying anywhere for very long, and when she turned 21, she got her biggest break yet.. A person who'd seen her mother maybe two years prior (one of Angela's old bosses) seemed to think that Angela was searching for her own birth mother, and said that the last thing he'd heard about her, she was living in Port Charles under a new identity, she'd had to take on a new identity, thanks to a con gone awry, her target coming after her. Cheyenne followed a few other leads before she followed this one and at 23, she finally hit a dead end with the other leads and decided that while it was a shot in the dark, Port Charles just might have been the right place all along._

_She's currently living in Port Charles, taking online courses for PCU while working two jobs, one at a bar (The Floating Rib) and the other at a small unnamed garage on the main street of town. She's hired Spinelli to look into finding her mother for her, and she's sort of settled into a routine.. Or as close to an actual routine as she gets._

ROMANTIC STATUS

_single. she's never actually dated a guy longer than a week or two, she does her best to keep any and all people at arms length._

ROMANTIC PAIRING

**THIS, LADIES (AND GUYS, IF THERE ARE GUYS READING THIS) IS WHERE I NEED SOME INPUT:**

_**NATHAN WEST**_

_**DANTE FALCONERI**_

_**MICHAEL III**_

_**MORGAN CORINTHOS**_

CHILDREN

_WILL BE POSTED HERE WHEN SHE HAS THEM. GOTTA DECIDE ON A PAIRING, FIRST, DERP._

OTHER

_nothing, haha.. yet.._

LOOKS

THIS IS WHAT AMY LOOKS LIKE CLICK

TATTOOS

this left lower hip this, this ear piercing this, with the shape of a baby footprint, the date she lost her baby and what she'd have named it, Gage, right ribcage

SCARS/DISTINGUISHING MARKS

_ this, upper back, running vertically.. she got it in a fight_

HAIR COLOR/STYLE/LINK

looks like this

EYE COLOR

LIGHT BROWN

HEIGHT

5'3

BODY TYPE

CURVY

PERSONALITY

very street smarta bit of a smartassjadedhas problems trusting people, so she comes off as cold and distant at timesrebellioustempermentaloutspokenintelligentobservantfeistystubbornloyalcaring, just does not show it wellcan be a bit of an instigatorflirtatious, but usually, when she does it, she's totally jokingstandoffish, not a very big socializer. she'll do it, but she's not fond of she really likes someone, she gets shy around get jealousgood listener

LIKES

building (or tearing apart) vehicles and other things to see how they workdrinking, but not too muchbarbecueworking at barsdriving fastplaying poolplaying dartsa good fightfootballboxinghockeygoing campingfishingriding horsesgoing barefootspontaneous road tripsswimmingrainstormscountry, hard rock or rap musicdancingthe smell of Black N Mild cigarellosdoing things (like climbing things, etc) that get her adrenaline goingwatching stuff like Supernatural or American Horror Storycolder weather, because of the snowthe color redthe color turquoisedogslemon ice creambonfiresscented candlesriding atvspaintballplaying video gameskickboxingriding dirtbikesreadingplaying drumswatching horror moviesjunk food

DISLIKES

'priveleged rich girls'slow drivershaving any part of her body grabbed while she's workingbusting her knuckles while in the garagebeing told no or how to do something or not to do itwaking up earlylosing thingslosing, periodher adoptive mother Amanda and her adoptive father Adam. They make her sickbeing arrested (she has at least four or five times, though)dressing upthe fact that her adoptive mother basically forced her real mother to give her up. The fact that her real mother didn't fight harder to keep people talk over herbeing taken advantage ofbeing tickledbody odornot having money when she needs it. It's a huge reason she hardly spends a dime whenever she gets paid at one of her two jobs. Like she'll literally pay bills, buy some Ramen in a cup and that'll be people say "oh you're a woman, you can't/aren't supposed to/ won't do that'. judged by her past judged in general.

SECRETS

lost a child of her own when she was 21. She was in a bad car wreck, with a guy she was dating (who died) and another car (drunk driver) hit them from the side. She miscarried before they even got her to the hospital. She still has nightmares about it on the biological daughter of Samantha McCall (Jerome) Morgan, granddaughter of Julian Jerome and Alexis Davis, niece of Kristina Corinthos Davis Lovett & Molly Lansing Davis, half sister to Daniel and Lila Morgan, (ages 2 and 6, yes, guys, Lila lived in my story!)tried to commit suicide after losing her baby because she was depressed, she'd just lost the only two people in her entire world that she'd ever bothered to mixed feelings about her birth mother. is in Port Charles to confront her and prove she 'didn't need her', but secretly, she hopes that her birth mother will want her in her wants to have another child one day. She wants to be a mother, badly. She wants to fall in love with a man and build a family, a life.. But she's afraid to try because of the way her own went, and how she lost her guy and their kid.

HABITS & QUIRKS

drumming her nailstwisting hair around her index fingerclenching her fistsrolling her eyesbiting her lower lipplaying with her hair and pacingputting her feet on table topssneezes in threes pretty much every single time she sneezesis a messy with her handsoccasionally snorts when she laughs

HOBBIES

playing poolworking, she loves both of her jobsriding horsesswimminggoing to the shooting range with her handgunwatching movies / tv show, she's a binge watcher, honestly, it's pathetickickboxinggoing for spontaneous drivesreadingplaying guitar and drumscamping (fishing and hunting are included in these camping trips)

CRIMINAL RECORD

16 - destruction of property, domestic disturbance, vandalism, joyriding .. This came about the night she confronted her adoptive mother Amanda with what her father Adam told her. Most of the charges are made up, the two that are real are the destruction of property and domestic disturbance, because the two women had a fight and during this fight, Amy broke a few windows, etc, and the fight went out into the yard, where a neighbor called it in. Amanda, her adoptive mother, added all that other crap to make it look as if she were 'innocent' and Amy was out of control or something. When that didn't work, she gladly let Amy have her legal emancipation.19, drunk and disorderly, public intoxication, fighting - Basically, it was a bar fight. A guy got into her face because she punched him after he grabbed her ass. The fight started and the cops got her for the above things. Which were all true.21, public intoxication, drunk and disorderly, resisting arrest, fighting - Basically, this was just after she'd lost her own child and the man she loved. She was out of control and she got into an altercation at the bar she worked at, this was the end result of that.

HEALTH PROBLEMS, SICKNESSES AND HOSPITALIZATIONS

several instances of bruises and broken/ sprained limbs in her childhood after the abuse from Amanda car accident that caused her miscarriage and left a scar on her old suicide scar on her inner right forearm.

APARTMENT SHE LIVES IN

LINKSGOHERE/DESCRIPTIONSTOO

CAR SHE DRIVES

2012 DODGE CHALLENGER SRT8

ANY PETS SHE MAY HAVE

bruiser


	2. Meet Amy

ONE

She pushed through the crowd inside The Floating Rib and quickly managed to get behind the bar, shooting Mack an apologetic smile as she called out over the noise, "That lecture ran later than I thought it would. Then traffic was murder, because of course, they still have an entirely unnecessary portion of main street blocked off for repairs. I mean what even are they repairing?" which made Mack shrug and laugh.

Amy set to work pouring drinks and serving food as she talked to a few of the locals. She'd been in Port Charles almost 6 months now and in that time, while she barely knew anyone, she'd gotten to know quite a few people. She just wasn't a girl big on having besties or something, she'd never really let anyone really close to her.. Well, she had, but that person had died. After that, she'd basically lost any and all interest in letting anyone get close to her again.

But for some reason, the small New York town felt more like home than any of the thousand others she'd been to since she'd left Chicago at 18. When she thought about it, that seemed like a lifetime ago. It'd only been 6 years. _It was amazing to her_, the brunette mused as she waited tables, made small talk and poured drinks, _how much bad shit can happen in 6 years. Just how wrong one person's life can go.. Just how many times they can get their hopes up only to have them dashed yet again_. But Port Charles so far, was proving to be every bit the fresh start she'd hoped it would be when she hit town a little under six months prior.

So far, these past six months were some of the most peaceful and blissfully uneventful ones in her entire 23 years of life.

"Going for a smoke." she told Mack who nodded. She ducked out into the back of the building and slid out her cell phone after lighting up a Newport and sitting with her back against the bricks on the cold hard concrete walkway leading up to the back of the bar. "Still nothing.. C'mon, Spin, you're the fucking Jackyll.. If you can't find my mom, damn it, how the hell am I ever gonna get closure?" she mumbled quietly as she stood and dusted the loose snow off of her jeans, stubbed out the cigarette and walked back into the noisy crowded bar.

And promptly, she smacked straight into a wall of blue uniforms. "Officers.. The usual?" she asked the two men who nodded, slid onto their stools, argued animatedly about a football game playing on the screen over the bar. "Oh please boys.. We all know Bama's gonna roll tide on that ass." she mused aloud as the two men chuckled, one of them speaking up and saying casually, "So the cute bartender does speak.. Interesting."

"Only when I wanna." Amy teased as she locked eyes with the guy, bit her lower lip. "If the conversation's stimulating, Officer, then yeah.. I talk." she said as she held out his beer. Their hands brushed and she laughed as he winked. "Yeah, keep dreamin.. I'm a handful on my best day." she said as she got back to wiping down the bar.

Nathan and Dante shared a challenging look at each other for a few moments before Nathan called out, "So.. Do you have a name or?" while sipping his beer. Amy stopped restocking the liquor freezer to turn and look at them, shrug again mysteriously. Mack spoke up from behind her, "Her name is Amy." as Amy grumbled a little and Mack joked, "She's my resident grouch."

"Hahaha." Amy teased as she grabbed an order of ribs, took them over to a crowded booth, Mack leaning in and telling the two men quietly, "She's only been living here 6 months. She came to find her birth mother, she's supposed to have Spinelli looking for the woman. She and Maxie are pretty good friends." as he added seconds later, "And yes, you two.. She is single." with a smirk as he turned his attention back to mixing drinks for some of the others seated at the bar. So sue him.. Through Maxie, he'd gotten to know the girl, and he was convinced that if Amy Tucker needed anything, it was stability, an actual home instead of just a room at the Metro Court.

From the little he did know about the girl, which was mostly what Spinelli or Maxie told him about her, or the few times she'd been over to the Scorpio house to eat, she hadn't ever really had much of either. She'd left the home of her adoptive family at 16 and she'd been on her own since.

"Hey, whoa.. We weren't.." Dante joked as Mack shrugged and said "Well, you two have been coming in almost every single night after work for almost 6 months now. And don't give me that single man cannot cook thing, either of you.. Because I know that if Nathan gets hungry enough, he can go to eat with his sister.. And you, Dante, your mom's one hell of a cook."

"She is." Dante said with a smirk as he said quietly, "Okay, so we're busted. She always like that though?" he asked as Mack nodded and said "Pretty much. I'm just telling both of you.. I've kinda gotten attached to the kid, because she's so close to Maxie and Spinelli.. If she did date, I'd rather it be one of you two."

Amy breezed past and then said with a grin and laugh, "Seriously, Mack? I leave the bar for five damn minutes, you're over here promising my hand in marriage? No offense boys, either of you, " she looked at both males before finishing quietly, "Just not the settle in kinda girl. I'm gonna be here long enough to do what I came to do and after that? I'm likely to leave again.. Just never actually stayed in one place too long, ya know?"

She shrugged and walked off, the two males looking at one another again, silent challenges being issued.

Across the bar, Sam sat reading a thick file. She'd recently gotten a new lead on where her daughter might have wound up after leaving her adoptive family. She stared intently at the page, biting her lower lip in thought. That lead she'd gotten seemed to indicate that her daughter may very well be right here, in Port Charles. She looked up right as the bartender slash waitress with long dark brown wavy hair sat down her second drink of the night and the babyback ribs she'd ordered.

The second she looked into the girls light brown eyes, it was almost as if the air got sucked right out of her. Something about the girl seemed familiar.. She was speechless for a few moments, and when she finally did get her brain and mouth to cooperate, the girl was gone, back in the more crowded back of the bar, playing a pool game on her break, most likely.

Sam had been in here once or twice this week, and each time, she'd seen the girl. And each time she had seen the girl, that same feeling she'd just had washed over her in waves. And she'd watched the girl, not sure why. She felt compelled almost, to do it. So she knew the girl's schedule pretty well for the most part. Mack walked past, towards his wife Felicia's table and she stopped him, nodding her head to the back pool table, where the girl was bent, about to take another shot and she asked Mack, "Who's she? I just.. I felt like I've seen her somewhere before or I know her or something.. I'm just curious, really."

"That's Amy Tucker.. She's been working here almost 6 months, she's started working a lot more recently since we're short handed and she's the only 23 year old work a holic I know." Mack said as he looked at Sam and then thought about something, almost told her that if you really looked at Amy, the two resembled each other sort of. But he kept the thought to himself. "Want me to go get her? I mean if this is about a case, Sam. You know I don't mind helping."

"No, it's fine, really.. Like I said, just curious." Sam said as she sipped her beer, ate her ribs and watched the girl, smiling to herself a little. In some ways, the girl very much reminded her of a daughter she'd given up as a 16 year old.. A daughter she was trying to find now.. She'd always try and picture what her daughter would've been like.. What might have been if she'd made a better choice then..

"It's probably just nothing." Sam mumbled as she got back to her files and tore her eyes away from the noisy pool game going on in the back of the bar. Because it couldn't be that simple, Sam knew better than to even begin to hope that. It probably was nothing.


	3. Finding Things Out

TWO

"Are you sure her name was Angela, even?" Maxie asked as Amy nodded, shoveled a hand full of Doritos into her mouth and replied, "That's what it said on my birth certificate thing.. Angela Monroe. Maybe it was an alias or something?" Amy guessed as Maxie nodded and looked over her husband's shoulder at the computer screen which he was currently swearing at. If there was anything Damien Spinelli hated, it was being bested by cyberspace. But currently, in the case of his friend's birth mother, nothing came up. The internet was winning the battle so far.

"Maybe it is an alias." Spinelli muttered as Maxie grumbled then with a laugh said "I just said that, Spin.. Take a break.. I cooked." as Amy joked, "What she means is she ordered Chinese." which made Maxie poke out her tongue and point out, "And you cook any better?"

"Umm, yeah, how about nope? I'm not some little ball of domesticity. Hell, the fire department got called to the Metro Court because I tried to make something and the microwave smoked." Amy joked, shrugging it off as Maxie looked at her and then burst into laughter. "Hafreakingha, Maxie. You're so fucking hilarious. So, where's my cuppycake?"

"Georgie's laying down. She's teething, she's cranky. Kinda like her Amy." Maxie joked gently as Amy scowled and said "Damn it, I'm not always grumpy. Just a good majority of the time. Speaking of.. Can you get Lulu and John to stop setting me up with people?"

Maxie shook her head slowly and asked with a raised brow, "Why though? It's so funny to see you try and awkwardly squirm your way out of a blind date. I hope you realize, Amy, one day you will fall in love again. Don't you think Colton and the baby you lost would want you to move on and be happy?"

"Ughh, don't start the Dr. Phil shit tonight, okay? But seriously, no more blind dates. I don't have time for a man.. I barely have time for me, Maxie." Amy said as she dug around in the drawer in the kitchen for chopsticks, her stomach growling loudly. Maxie's eyes set on her hand and she asked simply, "Did you even clean this one out?"

"Kinda, yes, smarty pants. I poured some vodka on it while I was at the bar. Alcohol sterilizes things." Amy said as Maxie looked at the cut across her friends knuckles and shook her head, clucking her tongue and asking, "Again I ask it.. What is it about being oily and sweaty on your back in the dark under a damn car all day that appeals to you?"

"The same things that working in a major fashion magazine's office appeals to you. I enjoy my work." Amy said as she winced when Maxie poured hydrogen peroxide on the deep gashes she'd gotten while working earlier in the day, before rewrapping her knuckles. She heard Georgie waking up and she looked at Maxie, then darted off towards the pale pink nursery at the end of the hall, emerging moments later with Georgie in her arms, giggling and cooing. "Look, Georgie, there's Mommy." Amy said as she handed the infant off to her mother and flopped into a seat around the small dinette table, burping a little.

"Seriously, Amy?" Maxie grumbled as Spinelli ran in and said excitedly, "The Jackyll has done it! Or at least he thinks he has!"

"Yes!" Amy said triumphantly as she hauled herself up from the chair she'd only just flopped into, made her way into the Spinelli's den, waited anxiously. And promptly gaped at the screen when she saw that apparently, Angela Monroe was an alias.. And if what Spinelli found was true, she'd already seen her mother on more than one occasion.. With two other small children and a gorgeous hunk of a husband..

"I.. Are you sure they're the same woman, Spin?" Amy asked as she tried to get her head around it, tried to get her mind to focus, tried to get the shock to wear off. Spinelli nodded and said "Should I call her? Because she actually had me looking into something, for her, and I found things about you.." as Amy shook her head, unsure of what to do with what she'd just learnt.

She grabbed her jacket and her pack of cigarettes and a lighter then said through gritted teeth, "Going for a walk, guys.. I just.. I need to fucking think." as she made her way out of the building. Once she was outside, she started to run. And she didn't stop running until she hit the park's playground and collapsed breathless into a swing.

Then she threw up.

"So she never actually wanted me." Amy mused aloud as she raked her hands through her wavy and long dark hair, hugged herself against the bitter cold outside. Now that she knew who her mother was, that her mother apparently moved on quite nicely after she abandoned her in the Tuckers home, that her mother might not even have wanted her to begin with..

Everything hurt. Plain and simple.

And she didn't know what to do with what she knew..

But she did know that pride wouldn't allow her to just do nothing about it, so she stood and composed herself, started to walk around the track that edged the park. By the time she'd made about two laps around, she'd decided.. For now, she'd just operate as usual. She wouldn't bother trying to seek out the woman, revenge or confrontations just seemed petty and pointless now.

The best way to show the woman she was fine, she hadn't needed her, was clearly to just live her life. She needed to think, but she knew that she'd figure out a way to handle this sooner or later. She just didn't want to now, in the heat of the moment. She was lost in thought when she smashed into the firm chest of a tall blond haired male who was wearing sweats and a gray muscle shirt.

"Are you okay?" Michael asked the curvy brunette in concern as he steadied her. Amy shrugged and said quietly, "I'm fine, I was just.. I should've been watching where I was going. Just thinking, is all.. Just thinking."

"You're the bartender right?" Michael asked as she nodded and said "Mhmm.. You're that guy who was dating that one really obnoxious bitch.. Right?" as Michael grumbled momentarily then said "About that night, I'm sorry.. Kiki's.. She's a bitch, actually. She had no business acting that way."

"I'm a big girl. I can handle it." Amy mused as she said "See you around.. I don't know about you, man, but I'm freezing my tits off right now. And I probably freaked out my two best friends when I bolted out of their apartment like I did a few minutes ago. Gonna go back in now." and jogged off towards a nearby apartment complex.

Michael stared after her intently, his hand in his hair. He'd sort of noticed her not so long ago, but seeing her up close tonight.. She was a lot prettier than he'd originally thought. He shoved the thought out of his head and got back to his jog for now. He was just getting out of a messy thing with Kiki. He needed time to himself.

And she didn't actually seem interested in anyone because he'd seen quite a few guys (his older brother included in this) try and talk her up. She hardly talked to anyone but Maxie and Lulu, Spinelli and occasionally, if she had to, she'd talk to Lulu's husband Johnny. Beyond that?

She was pretty much a private girl, she kept to herself.


	4. Mother Daughter Similarities

THREE

"So, how are you going to handle it? I mean what if Sam's got good reasons for giving you up?" Maxie asked Amy as Amy paced and stopped, mid pace, shrugged and said "I don't know, Maxie. But just knowing I've met her already.. Knowing she's got this whole other family, this other life and stuff.. Maybe it's just better if I left town now. I thought I wanted to confront her but the more I think about it.."

"You actually don't?" Lulu spoke up as she looked up from feeding her son Jonathan and then added, "Yeah, I wanted to confront my father for a while when he showed back up here in town and tried to be a father after a lifetime of not being one. But I just.. In the end, I couldn't do it." as Maxie spoke up, spooning yogurt out of a cup, taking a thoughtful bite, "I felt the same way, honestly.. I mean when Felicia would come back and try to play mommy?" as Amy grumbled and said quietly, "Not helping, either of you." and sat down, stomping her feet against the floor which made both Jonathan and Georgie giggle. "Aunt Amy's having a fit, guys." Amy muttered as she looked at her friends kids, wondered for a moment what her life would be like if she hadn't lost her kid not so long ago.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just thinking. I mean confronting her, I know it won't make me feel any better, not even a little. But avoiding her isn't an option, because Spin's gonna have to turn over his search results for her search for me, to her. Or she's gonna wonder.. I just.. I wish there was a way I could disappear, ya know? Like I almost seriously wish I didn't have my answer now." Amy muttered as Lulu and Maxie exchanged looks for a moment and Maxie blurted out, "You're a huge chicken when it comes to emotional things.. Has anybody ever told you that?"

"A thousand times, Maxie. Just trust me, it's better for me this way. God, I'm fucking dreading it now, Spin turning over his findings to her.. I don't want a confrontation. I really don't want to talk to her, I don't want some mother daughter bond. I just wanna tell her I was fine without her and get the fuck out of town."

"You're seriously still thinking about leaving?"

"Girls, I kinda have to, I mean I know what I came to find out now. She's got this whole other life.. No sense in me even sticking around, is there?" Amy asked her two friends as Maxie said "You have us.. I mean you have jobs you love, you're going to PCU for business.. You don't have to leave just because you're afraid to deal with your birth mother. Which, might I add, is the stupidest thing I've ever heard and I'm best friends with Lulu here so I've heard tons of stupid things." which made Lulu scowl and mutter jokingly, "Right back at ya. But she is right."

"Anyway, girls.. I haven't decided just yet, shit.. I got kickboxing, okay? See you two at the Rib tonight?" Amy asked as she gathered her gym bag and set out for the local gym, owned by Sonny Corinthos, who was currently teaching her kickboxing.

As soon as she'd set her bag down in the gym, Sonny asked with a knit brow, "You okay, kid?"

"Yeah, I'm good.. The sooner I'm beating the shit out of that punching bag, sir, the better I'll be. Got a lot of shit going on in my head tonight." Amy mumbled quietly as Sonny looked at her, chuckled a little then showed her the first form he wanted her to try for the night. The doors to the gym opened and Nathan stood leaned in them, fresh from the weight bench, watching Amy sparring with one of the others in the kickboxing class.

Sonny happened to notice Nathan watching and he called out, "Gonna spar or just stand there?"

Amy stopped, collapsing into the corner, chugging down a Powerade as she wiped the sweat off her body. Her head shot up when she heard Sonny basically challenging a guy. A smirk filled her face and she said with a casual shrug, "I'll spar a round with the guy.. As long as he doesn't pull some of that chivalry bullshit and let me kick his ass."

Sonny snickered to himself, shook his head. Nathan stepped closer, looked at Amy then said " It might not be a good idea if we spar.."

"Why exactly, officer? Because I have boobs.. Or because you're kinda afraid that I might just kick your ass in front of all these lovely people?" Amy teased, a gleam in those light brown eyes of hers that Nathan spent so much time at the Rib getting lost in when he'd watch her doing something. He chuckled and stepped between the ropes and said "Okay, alright.. Just remember, I warned you it might not be a good idea." as he quickly got her into a half nelson which to his surprise, she countered and sent a left hook at him which he ducked.

Sonny stood off to the side watching the two spar before calling out, "You got this, right?" to Amy who gave him a thumbs up while also trying to free herself from a submission maneuver Nathan West currently had her in. He chuckled and looked at her then asked in concern, "You're okay, right?"

"If you're asking if I'm gonna tap out, officer, answer is hell no." Amy grumbled as she gritted her teeth and used the ring ropes to maneuver her way out of the submission, then locked in one of her own on Nathan who quickly reversed it, despite the overwhelming distraction posed by her petite curvy frame partially on top of his body currently.

Sam happened to be walking down the hall, intent on going to the room her daughter held in the Metro Court as she passed the fitness center. She wasn't sure why, but for some reason, she stopped in the open door of the fitness center. And found herself gaping at the girl she now knew to be the daughter she'd had to give up when she was born sparring with Detective Nathan West.. Although, from the looks of it, there was more cutting up than there was sparring currently.

She realized that they were almost done and she quickly vanished down the hall, and to Carly's office to wait on Amy to be finished in the gym. She shut the door to Carly's personal office and dropped into a chair as she said aloud, "So.. Remember how I told you I was going to find the little girl I had to give up?"

"Yeah.. Did you?"

"I did.. But according to Spinelli, she's gotten the total wrong idea about me now, apparently she's seen me around Port Charles with Lila and Danny, with Jason and she's come to this totally wrong conclusion that I have a family, I'd have no interest or use for her. According to Spinelli and Maxie, she's talking about leaving again.. She hasn't.. Checked out.. Has she?"

"She's staying in my hotel?" Carly asked, intrigued.

"Mhmm.. Her name's Amy Tucker." Sam said as Carly's head shot up and then she laughed, shook her head.. "That's the girl that teaches Josslyn hip hop dance... I mean she does a free class at the fitness center for kids.. Not sure why, but Joss loves it." as Sam spoke up, "According to Spinelli, she's got 2 actual jobs, she's going to college to major in business and she's got two minors."

"Wow.. No wonder she's almost always tired." Carly mused as she pulled up the days check ins and check outs then said "She's still registered. She actually paid through the end of the month.. Since she's in one of the extend stay suites... Are you going to talk to her? You should.. I mean I know how I felt when I thought my real mother didn't want me.. And you felt the same way when you thought Alexis didn't want you, also.. Probably best to talk to her now, we don't want another situation like both of ours.."

"Yeah.. That's exactly what I was thinking." Sam mused as she said "Can you text me when she finally goes back to her room for the day?" with Carly nodding as she walked out, back past the gym, only now, it looked like Amy was in the room alone, doing yoga or something.

She had this overwhelming urge to go to her daughter, do everything she could to straighten things out, let her know she was wanted, she'd thought about her every single day since she'd had to give her up.. But she decided to wait.. Soon she'd get to explain herself, hopefully.


	5. Those High Walls

FOUR

"So.. Spinelli and I are doing Thanksgiving.. And don't even give me the work excuse, Amy, we all know you're off. The garage is closed that day, PCU has two weeks off and you only have to work a few shifts at the Rib. I talked to Mack earlier." Maxie said as Amy grumbled and poked out her tongue then said "That's a family thing though.. I mean aren't most Thanksgiving get togethers about family?" as she ran her fingers around the rim of a glass jar of Alfredo sauce, licked her finger thoughtfully, Maxie popping at her hand as she said with a laugh, "Family is not just blood, Amy. Haven't you ever actually eaten Thanksgiving with anyone before?" her eyes fixed on Amy in curiousity as Amy said "Yeah.. The Tuckers idea of Thanksgiving was cold.. Formal.. Like we had family there, but it was all about how much they could one up each other in the space of a few hours.. Probably why I spent so much time down at the stables riding horses on the property."

"You have to come. You are coming, it's settled. Even if Lulu and I have to come to the Metro Court and drag you out of bed." Maxie said as Amy looked at her, brow raised, hand tangled in her thick dark curls. "What's the big deal about me being there?" Amy asked as Maxie said quietly, "Because, Amy, you're family.. I mean to me and Spinelli, to Lulu and Johnny." while stirring the simmering pot of pasta on the stove.

"Don't burn that like last time." Amy joked as she sipped a light beer and then said "Okay, alright, fine.. I swear to God though, if you're even thinking about doing a matchmaking thing, you guys.." in a warning tone as Maxie said "It's just a few people. Nothing big or fancy. And no, no matchmaking.. But if you happen to talk to certain guys, cool."

"Ughh, I knew it." Amy grumbled as she stood a few moments, paused in the doorway between the Spinelli's den and kitchen, watching Georgie playing in her playpen. She sighed to herself, shook her head and thought about how she almost had what her best friend Maxie had currently.. Then one night changed it all, took it all away from her. And she was alone again. Which was the primary reason she was so opposed to even blind dates and being set up on them.

"What's the big issue about dating anyway?" Maxie asked Amy as she walked into the den, picked Georgie up out of her playpen and carried her to the high chair where her bottle of baby food was waiting. Amy turned to face the two of them and shrugged. If she planned on staying for the long haul, getting closer to them all than she already had, she'd tell them.

But she was still at least halfway convinced that she'd be leaving town as soon as she figured out what to do in regards to her birth mother and handling that situation.

"Dunno.. Just never really been a big fan of it, I guess." Amy lied as Maxie shook her head and pointed out, "That's total bullshit. You do realize that sooner or later you're going to have to talk about whatever it is and move on... Right?" as Amy chugged a little more of the light beer in her hands and said casually, "Yeah? Well not today, so..."

Maxie grumbled but left the matter alone for now.

"I bumped into her again today. She stood there staring at me, was about to say something but I just walked away. I mean I couldn't think of a damn thing I wanted to say to her that wouldn't involve anger on my part. So I just pretended not to have a clue as to who she was and walked the hell off." Amy admitted as she thought about her earlier run in with her birth mother, her apparent half siblings. She found herself wondering again for the second or third time that day alone what they were all doing now, then getting mad at herself for giving a damn.

"You two are going to have to speak to each other sooner or later. I mean according to Lulu, Sam's tried everything to get a hold of you at the Metro Court."

"Kind of why I'm riding you guys couch.. Or theirs. I just.. I can't deal with it right now, Maxie. How do you deal with knowing that your mother gives you to the worst people in the world, walks away, probably doesn't even think about what she's done just one fucking time, and then years later, she not only marries a hunky biker but she has two other kids. I mean that's how it looks to me." Amy stated as Maxie grumbled and said "Like mother, like daughter. You're both so damn stubborn." as she took Amy's bottle, finished it off and handed it back to her.

"Hey! I was drinkin that, damn." Amy joked as she sat down in one of the dinette chairs, drumming her fingers on the surface of the refinished and white painted wooden table. "I know you guys say she's got a side to the story, I just.. I'm not sure I want to believe it.. I've basically been on my own for almost my entire life now. Sadly, I've actually gotten pretty damn good at it."

"No, Amy, what's up is that you're afraid that you're gonna get hurt. Or worse, that you will wind up wanting to be part of your mom's life instead of hating her like you want to so badly." Maxie stated firmly as Spinelli spoke up from the doorway, "The Jackyll agrees.. And he thinks that Vixen Amy should seek out her mother. Because Fair Samantha is most upset by the strain in the relationship. She wants to know who her daughter is."

"If you two wanna make out, shit.. Tell me." Amy joked as she looked from Spinelli to Maxie then grumbling said "I need time.. Not saying I'm not gonna go to her at some point, just saying that it's not gonna happen right now. I'm gonna go for a walk or something." as she slid her leather jacket on, slunk out the door, stopping to call out over her shoulder, "I'll be at the Thanksgiving thing.. But no set up stuff, okay?"

"Fine. We just want you there not eating some microwave meal or at a sports bar on Thanksgiving." Maxie pointed out as Amy laughed and said "What? Wings are a bird.. "

"Damn it, Amy, just show up. And bring a pie."

"Do I look like fucking Betty Crocker?" Amy joked as Maxie gave her begging eyes and she finally said "Fine.. I'll bake some of my cookies. But don't get pissed when you can throw an entire inning with 'em. Bad things happen when I'm near a stove." before finally walking out the door, down the hallway to the elevator. The muscular arm shot out from behind her mashing the down button and Dante asked, "You were going to the lobby, right?"

"Yep. Going for a walk or something. Lemme guess.. Off to work, right Officer?" Amy mused as Dante shrugged and said "Something like that." holding her gaze intently. The things Lulu had told him about her still bounced around in his mind and he found himself all that much more curious to know her because of the things he'd heard about Amy.

"Yeah.. Well, hope that goes good. Be safe." Amy said casually as the doors to the elevator slid open and the two of them stepped on. For a while, it was quiet, then Dante spoke up and asked casually, "So you're good friends with Lulu and Maxie.. You gonna be at their Thanksgiving thing too?"

"I might. Depends on if I stick around town, Officer." Amy said quietly, holding his gaze as she ignored her ringing cell phone. It was the same number, a local one, it was probably the woman she'd recently discovered was her birth mother, because naturally, her caring and meddling best friends saw fit to give the woman her number. She scowled at it and shoved it into her pocket.

"Boyfriend?" Dante guessed as Amy pointed to herself then doubled over in laughter and said pointedly, "Nope.. More like the birth mother I came to town to find, have finally found and am currently avoiding. I'm not much of a pot stirrer, see, and I'd really rather not be around her right now, because I've got a quick temper and I might say some of the stuff that's been on my mind for a few years now."

"Ouch. Hope that works out for ya.. Family is important."

"Yeah.. To normal people, it is. See, I've never really had an actual family, not one I considered family anyway, so..." Amy admitted, shocked at herself to have said it out loud, and to a stranger at that. But the guy, he just had one of those faces.. Like you could tell him anything.. And you'd want to tell him everything. Then again, so did two other men she'd met (or been shoved into the path of by her well intentioned and snoopy as hell best friends) so far while living here.

One, though.. He looked entirely too much like the man she'd loved and lost.. It made her heart pure hurt when she'd see him around. She'd always catch herself wanting to run to him.. Sparring with Nathan West in the gym a week or two ago hadn't helped that feeling she got around him, either..

But again, she was not looking to fall or settle.

And especially not with a guy who looked so much like a man she'd loved with all her heart and lost too soon.. Even if something about him, hell about Dante and the other guy, Michael too, if she had to be honest, sort of just called out to her.

The elevator opened and she hurried off. Dante stood there, watching her disappear into a thick crowd in the lobby of the apartment building, chuckled to himself. "Wow.. And I thought most of us guys weren't big talkers." he mumbled as he shook his head, walked out of the building...

She'd be at the little gathering Lulu and Maxie had planned.. He grumbled when he realized that not only would she, but so would Nathan, his partner who also liked her, and his younger brother Michael, who apparently thought she was hot and wanted to get to know her too..

"Looks like it'll be every man for himself." Dante mused as he got into his SUV and drove towards his father's house for their usual fight night thing.. They'd started doing it recently, it was helping bridge the gap there.


	6. Mother Daughter Conversation

FIVE

She felt a tapping on her shoulder as she walked down the sidewalk and was about to walk into Kelly's Diner. She stopped and turned around, grumbled when she saw her birth mother standing there for a second time that day. "What?" Amy asked, her entire body tense, her voice coming out strained and through gritted teeth. She didn't get it, really.. Why was her birth mother trying so hard? She'd pretty much made things crystal clear when she started a whole new life. Amy was almost willing to bet the woman had only looked for her out of a sense of guilt or something and frankly, Amy was in no mood to ease that guilt.

"We need to talk, Amy. Have you not gotten any of the messages?" Sam said, like her daughter, her own temper and impatience rising just a shade as she spoke to her. She took a few deep breaths and remembered what Amy thought right now, why it was not a good idea to lose her temper and fight with the daughter she wanted in her life, the daughter she wanted to get to know but seemed to alienate each time she approached her.

"I really have nothing to say that you'd wanna hear, Angela.. Or is it Sam now?" Amy said quietly, calmly as she took a few deep breaths. The things Maxie and Spinelli said to her earlier came back to her at that particular moment, and a conscience she'd ignored tons of times in the past won out and she said in a tired tone, "Fine. I'm going in to Kelly's. Since I don't cook."

Sam stared at Amy a few moments then managed a smile, thanked her. "You need to hear my side of the story.. I mean before you just walk away." Sam pointed out as the two sat down in a booth by the back of the diner. Amy looked at her birth mother and then said quietly, "So go ahead.. Because from where I sit, Angela, just not sure whether to believe anything you say or not.. I mean you come here, you change your name, you start this whole new life.. But then I think about something.."

"What?"

"Nothing, it's probably just something that I created mentally as some kind of wishful thinking." Amy said quietly as she scanned a menu and said aloud, "I think I'm gonna get the vegetable beef soup." mostly to change the subject. Sam watched her daughter and thought a few moments about how hard it was going to be to explain everything. And how badly she wanted to fix things, how much she wanted her daughter in her life.

"Tell me.." Sam insisted as Amy shrugged and said " I just used to dream sometimes at night.. It had to be you humming me as you held me, pretty sure it was a lullaby or something.. I mean it had to be you because that bitch Amanda wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole." before dropping her gaze, looking down at the menu again, intently.

Sam thought about what Amy said, her mind went back to the one and only time she'd gotten to hold Amy.. She'd only been 5 hours old.. Amanda and Adam were on their way to the hospital from an airport. Sam spent the last few hours that she'd have with her little girl talking to her, singing to her. Studies suggested that sometimes a human could recall memories from further back than just the ages of two.. Some could remember things (under hypnosis most of the time) from when they were babies.

_flashback_

_"Shhh.. Don't cry.. I'm gonna cry again too.. I wish I could keep you.. I wish I could keep you and know you'd be safe, that Adam or Amanda wouldn't send people to find us and hurt you or both of us.. I'm too young to be a mom, cupcake.. But I want to be your mom so bad.. You have no idea. I've tried a thousand times the past few months to come up with some sort of plan.. But there's no way out.. Everything I've thought of winds up with them finding us, taking you from me. I can't risk you getting hurt." Sam said to her daughter as the baby wailed a little. The little brown eyes fixed up on hers and she felt sick inside. _

_If she could escape, she would. If she could take Amy and run, she'd do that. But when it came down to it, the Tuckers were powerful. And they could give her things that Sam in her wildest dreams couldn't and probably wouldn't ever be able to give her. If she ran, it put Amy and herself in danger later down the line.. Maybe later, she'd decided, she could find her. Maybe when Amy was older, she could get her back somehow._

_Even as she thought this, dared to hope for a moment, she knew it'd never happen. Somehow, she'd never be able to get Amy back. And if she did, the lifestyle she lived, the only one she knew, it wasn't fit to raise a child in. She took a few deep breaths as she nursed her daughter, the tears streaming silently down her cheeks as she did so._

_When Amy was full, done feeding, she held her in her arms, started to hum a song, some kind of a lullaby, a song she sometimes dreamt that her real mother might have cared enough to sing to her when she'd been born. Amy's chest rose and fell, she snored quietly in Sam's arms. Sam sat awake, in the dark, trying to mentally prepare herself for what she had to do to be sure Amy had a decent life, that she wasn't in any danger (which she would be if sam did what she wanted, took Amy and ran) and that maybe, she'd have the love Sam hadn't as a child._

_end flashback_

"Hey.." Amy said as she snapped her fingers, Sam's focus came back to the conversation, or the lack of one currently. "What's up?"

"You wanted to talk to me.. You've sort of been just sitting there not talking." Amy said simply as she took a hand full of crackers, crumpling them into her soup as the waitress sat it down in front of her. Sam laughed a little and said "I do that too." as Amy shrugged, her posturing still stiff though not as stiff as it had been in all their previous run ins since they'd learned the truth. "You might actually be remembering me holding you before Adam and Amanda took you." Sam said finally as she sipped a soda and looked at Amy who stared a moment, spoon poised halfway to her lips.

"I'm not.. I'm not sure whether I believe you.. I mean I want to, but a lot doesn't make sense.. Why change your name?" Amy asked as Sam said quietly, "I've done some really bad things.. When I came here, found my own birth mother and decided to stick around and give her a chance, like I hope you'll do with me.. I decided to completely get rid of the parts of myself I was ashamed of. Ironically, I started getting your grandmother to try and get you back from the Tucker family then too. I mean if you want me to be honest. But they had more pull, they kept maneuvering things so that I couldn't ever take them to court and get you back."

Amy thought about what her birth mother seemed to be suggesting as she ate her soup quietly. She'd just lifted her arm again and Sam noticed the tattoo on her arm. "What's that?"

"It's a tattoo, Sam."

"I know that.. But of what, I meant.." Sam said as Amy bit her lower lip and put her spoon down, shook her head and said "I'd rather not talk about it. Nobody knows, okay? Let's just say I have a past too and leave it there." as Sam made a mental note to snoop around some more and maybe find out what might have happened to her daughter in her past.. She knew most of it, but from the ages of 19 to here recently, it was almost like Amy Tucker was a ghost or something.. She'd definitely done well with dropping off the radar and leaving no trace of herself virtually anywhere because Sam had been trying to find things out, to piece together a timeline of her daughter's life after she'd left the Tuckers home and set out on her own, but she'd yet to fully do it.

"Talking helps, trust me." Sam said quietly as Amy looked at her, brow raised and said quietly, "Not with everything, okay?" as she cleared her throat and said quietly, "Say I do try and let you explain your side of the story.. This isn't out of some misguided sense of guilt or obligation.. Right?"

"I don't do things I don't want to do. And cupcake.. I've wanted to find you, to be your mother again, since Amanda Tucker ripped you out of my arms the night you were born." Sam admitted as Amy blinked at the use of the word she'd heard so many times in her own imagination.. Could she actually trust Sam?

Was it worth sticking around to find out?


	7. A Run In With Nathan

SIX

"Yeah, I'm coming, give me a second." Amy called out from the bathroom of her hotel suite as the door was knocked on yet again. She stepped out of the shower, wrapped one of the larger towels around her and walked to the door, figuring that if it were anyone, it was most likely Lulu and Maxie, coming by to remind her yet again, that she promised them Thanksgiving she'd eat dinner with them. But when she flung the hotel room door open, she found her birth mother standing on the other side, tapping her foot nervously and impatiently.

She stepped to the side and let Sam walk into the room, asked calmly, "What's up?" as she worked on dressing, not bothering to hide herself, not the least bit bashful. The way she figured it, she had nothing to be ashamed of, body wise, she worked her ass off to stay in shape. And when you work as a stripper, like she had for a little over a year not so long ago, then yeah.. You kind of getting used to naked around strange people. Not that it'd bothered her back then, nor did it bother her now. Sam turned so she could dress and Amy laughed and then said aloud, "Good lord, woman, relax. It's just tits." as she dried off, worked on wiggling into a pair of jeans, fastening a red bra's back clasps seconds later.

Sam turned back to face her oldest daughter and then said quietly, "Thanksgiving.. What are you doing?" as she waited on Amy to answer. Amy looked at her with a raised brow and then shrugging said "Well, Maxie and Lulu are twisting my arm to come to their thing.. After, I'll probably go hang out at Buffalo Wild Wings and watch the Cowboys play whoever it is they're playing this year. Why? What's up?"

"We always have dinner at the lake house. I know we really didn't settle things the last time we spoke, Amy, but I want you there. Your family wants to meet you. Whether you want to believe me or not, Amy, you are wanted. You were loved. I had no other choice back then but to do what I did." Sam stated quietly as Amy brushed out her hair and looked at her mother in the mirror. She wanted to believe what Sam said, of course, but the fact remained.. The Tuckers had done and said so much to her in the past that she just wasn't sure who or what to believe in anymore.

"Look, that's neither here nor there." Amy said through gritted teeth as she took a deep breath and remembered what she'd promised Maxie and Lulu she'd do, give her birth mother a chance, no matter how dead set against it she actually was. She sighed and said quietly, "What time?"

"It's around 9. We all usually watch the parade downtown together first, and then we go back to my mother's house and we eat. If you wanted to.. I know your little brother and your little sister would love it if you came to the parade and they finally got to meet you." Sam admitted, adding moments later, "And I'd love it if you came too. This.. It isn't just for them.. It's for us, me and you. I want us to bond, okay?"

"Look, I'm trying. I'm not... I'm not good at all this, the family stuff, the togetherness. I didn't actually have a lot of that when I was younger. And I'm kinda not sure what to believe, I mean I've heard so many different things. I just.. I'll try, that's really all I can do." Amy admitted as Sam smiled a little and said "Trying is better than not doing anything at all."

"Do I need to bring anything?" Amy asked as Sam said with a smile, "Just actually come, okay? Don't just say it to get me off your back. I think you'll be surprised. I think this would be good for both of us." and walked towards the door, Amy calling out casually, " Again.. I'm going to try, I just.. I cannot make any promises alright? I'm not used to people.. Family.."

Sam nodded quietly. She knew now that probably the closest Amy actually had ever had to any sort of family, was the guy she'd been seeing seriously who died in a car accident that not only caused Amy to miscarry a child, but also nearly killed her in the process. And she almost asked Amy about it, but she decided against it. She knew though, that sooner or later, Amy was going to have to talk about it. Until they got closer, she really couldn't do anything to make her talk about it any sooner, she could only just wait and be there for her when it finally did come out.

"It's okay. At least you are trying." Sam said finally, as Amy sighed to herself. The door to the hotel suite shut behind Sam and for a few minutes, Amy just stared into the mirror at herself, wondered what Thanksgiving might be like for her if she actually had her baby, if the man she'd loved so much had actually lived. And she also found herself wondering just when exactly, she'd stop feeling the pain from her losses.

She stood finally, and slid her feet into her shoes, grabbed her jacket and car keys. Maybe Maxie and Lulu were right.. Maybe she should find an actual apartment.. maybe if she settled in somewhere, if she actually put more of an effort forth in trying to get to know her birth mother, her extended family.. Maybe she wouldn't feel the pain from everything else all the damn time. She was sick of hurting, sick of sleepless nights, sick of keeping herself closed off, sick of feeling only half alive. She wanted to try living again.

It was probably well past time that she'd done that, in all honesty.

She'd just pushed the down button on the elevator when Nathan West spoke up from behind her and asked, "Lobby, right?" as she stared at his reflection in the steel door of the elevator. She nodded, he couldn't help but notice that every time they bumped into each other, she'd get this upset look in her eyes, or she'd tense up. And he wanted to ask her why, but they barely knew each other.

Which sucked, to him, because he really wanted to get to know her a lot better. But since their little 'sparring session' a few weeks ago, she'd been doing all she could to avoid seeing him around town. Or at least that's what he thought. That also made him wonder.. Had he done something that day?

Or was there a deeper reason for it?

"So.. Where are you headed?" he asked.

Amy looked up at him, tried to remind herself that no, Nathan was not the man she loved and lost.. That he just happened to look exactly like him, and therefore, there was no reason to feel pain or confusion every time she bumped into him. She took a few deep breaths and said calmly, " Apartment hunting, actually.. Maxie and Lulu.. They kind of talked me into sticking around, getting to know my birth mother since I've found her.. What about you, Officer?"

"Actually, I was heading back to my apartment. Just had a sparring session at the gym though.. Where have you been, I mean I used to see you there all the time?" Nathan asked casually, Amy looked at him a few moments and thought to herself, _'Trying to distance myself from the damned pull I feel to you, okay? Because it scares me just how strong it really is. Also trying to keep my distance, Nathan, because you look entirely too much like Seth did. And it hurts. And I want you, every time I see you. And that also hurts.' _as she finally said "Work's been hell lately." avoiding his gaze.

He looked at her, noticed she didn't seem to be looking at him. His eyes trailed slowly over her body and he noticed the tattoo on her inner arm. "It's Celtic, right? For a mother and child?" he asked, nodding at her tattoo. She paled as he asked for some strange reason and then said quietly, "It is.. Gage woulda been one hell of a kid.. Wasn't meant to be, I guess." shocked at herself for actually having said what she'd just said out loud, and to him, at that.

Nathan nodded, stared at her intently. He didn't break eye contact, nor did he move away when he noticed that her chin brushed his chest, they'd migrated that close to each other, yet again. It seemed to happen often on the rare occasion that they did run into each other, when she wasn't avoiding him, of course. "I'm sorry.. Losing a kid.. It's gotta be hard." he said finally as Amy nodded and bit her lower lip then added quietly, "Lost my whole world, officer.. Not just my son." as she turned, stepped away, walked off the elevator so fast he almost had to wonder if the exchange between them just now, if the electric tingling current, if everything had just been a figment of his imagination...

"Maybe if I keep trying she'll stop running." Nathan mused to himself as he walked out of the hotel lobby and down the sidewalk, ducking into Kelly's Diner. He sat thinking about what she'd told him.. About how he felt about her, the strangeness of it..

And he came to one conclusion.. One way or another, he was going to work his way over the walls she had built around herself. He was nothing if not determined now.


	8. Accidental Roommates

SEVEN

She looked at the slip she'd torn from a room mate wanted ad on the bulletin board at The Floating Rib and took a few deep breaths. "Just talk to them. If they don't seem like they'll be worth rooming with, you can always make up an excuse and leave." she coaxed herself as she raised a hand to knock. Instead, to her shock, the apartment door was opened by Nathan West.. Who stood in the doorway, towel wrapped around his hips, hair still damp from a shower. She quickly mumbled, "Christ, shit, sorry." and turned in the opposite direction.

Nathan raised a brow but asked, "What's up?" as he stepped back inside and got dressed, came back into the den, only to find her with her back still turned, still standing in the hallway. He tapped her shoulder and she nearly sprang about a foot in the air, turned around and said sheepishly, "I can.. I should go, actually.." before turning, preparing to walk away. He stopped her and asked, "What was it?", confusion in his eyes as she stared up into them.

For a few moments, her mind raced and her tongue felt like lead on the roof of her mouth. Finally, though, her body and her brain started to work together and not against each other and she said quietly, "I came about the roommate ad?" as he looked at her, intently. Her stomach was churning, she couldn't really breathe that well. She shuffled her feet, her eyes tore from his to dart all over nervously and she waited.

"I.. Wow.." Nathan said as he kept calm, tried to ignore the way opening the door, seeing her standing in it made him feel just now. How when he'd placed that ad, he'd secretly hoped, to some degree, she'd find it and come by or something. It was easier than say, approaching her, given how skittish she was. And he really did need a roommate...

He was shocked that she was there though. Then he remembered what she'd said earlier, about apartment hunting today and he chuckled as he said casually, "You can come inside. I don't bite." and stepped to one side, to allow her to walk into the apartment.

Amy stepped in, looked around at the apartment, her hands, her feet, those were both lovely things to focus on, not him standing there, sans shirt, looking sexier than her wildest dreams could've conjured up, (because yes, lately, they had been doing a whole lot of conjuring where Nathan West was concerned..) and after an awkward cough, she finally said "Good one."

He chuckled and then asked, "Didn't find your own place?" as he looked at her, focusing on how to hold her gaze, noticing she was definitely fidgety right now, wondering what about him made her that way to begin with. He sat down near her on the couch, she stood up and paced, her hand in her hair as she said finally, "Okay, look.. I need a place that isn't the Metro Court if I'm gonna stay around.. You advertised for a room mate. Are we doing this, Nathan, or not?" not even realizing at the moment, that instead of calling him by her usual standard greeting, officer, she'd instead used his first name. She bit her lower lip and looked at him, making herself not look away, holding his gaze as she waited on him to answer.

He chuckled and held her gaze as he nodded and said "Yeah.. But first, I want to ask you something.. What the hell about me, Amy, makes you so nervous? I mean if we're going to be room mates, you can't.. It won't work out if you're nervous all the time. And I'm not a bad guy.. I know, a lot of guys say that, but I'm really not." as he looked at her, eyes shining in amusement.

"Yeah.. It's just.. I don't know, damn it.. But I'll deal with it. Because the Metro Court is.. I mean I could keep staying there, it just.. It makes no sense if I'm going to try this giving my mom a chance to get to know me crap?" Amy admitted as her teeth passed over her full lower lip and her fingers twisted in her hair, she looked at him, wondering whether this was a good idea, even considering living under such close quarters with him or not.. Given the pull she felt to him and what he reminded her of, what he made her want again.

"You're sure.. I mean you get really, really nervous around me.. You're sure you can make this work?" Nathan asked her as he held her gaze. Amy nodded and muttered something he couldn't make out, finally, she said quietly, "Yeah. So, how much up front?" as she shuffled her feet and counted out badly wadded and rolled up money which made him laugh a little, shake his head. "Do I really make you that nervous?"

"Not so much you as other things." Amy admitted, to her own shock. Nathan stared at her a few moments, hand in his hair as he asked, "So.. When are you planning on moving in?" out of curiousity, while also wondering internally to himself if **he** were going to be able to make this living arrangement work. If he could keep from making things awkward, or even more than they were currently, at least.

"Tonight, most likely. It's not like I have much stuff." Amy said as she looked at him, biting her lower lip. What the hell was she getting herself into, she had the passing wonder. She was drawn to the guy, he reminded her of a life she'd almost gotten, a man she'd loved with all her heart and lost way too soon. Why the hell then, was she even considering doing this, why did she even think it'd remotely be a good idea, at all?


	9. Thanksgiving Day Part I

EIGHT

She happened to be walking down the sidewalk of the main street when she noticed the animal shelter. Her eyes connected with those of a puppy in the window, and she shook her head. Another thing she'd never gotten as a child, a real pet. The Tuckers, her adoptive parents, they thought pets were messy, unnecessary. And given Amanda pretty much hated her then, anything she'd asked for (and there had been several things actually) tended to fall on a cold heart and deaf ears. Amy sighed and shook her head, laughed at herself.

"Thinking my room mate would kick my ass anyway, so maybe in a few months when I've gotten my own place or something." Amy mumbled quietly as she continued to walk briskly down the sidewalk, heading towards the place she'd agreed to meet her birth mother and her birth mother's family for the Thanksgiving parade. She grumbled as she shivered at the cold, her eyes scanned the crowd, she saw none of them. So she stood there, out of sight because there was no way in hell that she was going to walk over first, only to be humiliated when the woman didn't show.

Yes, she was still very wary of what her birth mother claimed, that if she'd had a better choice, she'd have kept her, raised her. But, she was trying to get to know the woman, despite how hard it was for her to believe what her birth mother said. She'd heard one thing for so long, it was sort of hard for her, hearing another now, as an adult, when none of it really mattered to her anymore.

A little girls giggle and a tap to her shoulder had her looking down and then turning around. She found her birth mother standing there, husband beside her, her half brother Danny in her arms as the little girl said "There she is, mommy, told you she come today." as Sam admitted sheepishly, "We slept late. And I was half afraid that when we finally did get here,you'd have left or something." which made Amy shrug and then admit, "I mighta gotten here too early. I've been up since five I think." as she bent to pick up the little girl, asked her, "What's your name, cutie pie?"

"It Lila.. What your name?"

"Amy."

"You my big sissy, right? Why can't you come lives with us?" Lila asked, a puzzled look in her big blue eyes as she spoke. Jason chuckled and finally said "I'm Jason. Sam, she's told me a lot about you, I mean not just lately.. Before, when she was trying to get you back." as Amy felt her slim hopes for her mother actually telling the truth, actually having wanted her, begin to widen just a little. She smiled a little and gave her mother a slight smile as she looked back at Jason and then said "Yeah, I've seen you guys around with her, I mean.. I started to say something about who I was after I found out.."

"It's okay, you two will get everything worked out." Jason replied confidently as he gave Sam a reassuring squeeze of his hand, Sam smiling as she said "We usually sit over there." pointing towards a picnic table beneath a slightly less than barren tree. Amy laughed a little and nodded, followed her birth mother and her birth mother's family over, sat down on the table.

"How'd apartment hunting go?" Sam asked as she looked at Amy hopefully. Amy sighed and sipped her hot chocolate then said quietly, "Actually, I didn't find an apartment of my own.. Did find someone looking for a room mate though, this guy, Nathan West.. He's a cop, he's sort of friends with the people I'm friends with? Yeah, I'm gonna give that a try, I mean the worst that can happen is that we do not get along under the same roof, like at all.." as she bit her lower lip in thought.

Sam gave her daughter a raised brow then suggested, "If that doesn't work, you can always move into the penthouse.. I mean you'd be sharing a room with Lila but I'm pretty sure she won't mind at all." as Lila giggled and climbed into Amy's lap, getting amazed by her tattoos. Amy, Sam noticed, seemed to tense a little when the subject of the tattoos came up, and now, she knew why.

Just like she knew why Amy might be so drawn to this new cop in town, Nathan West. He did look almost identical to the man she'd been about to have a child with before the wreck killed the child and the man, left her alive. She wasn't sure if that was entirely a good thing, or not, but the fact remained.. Her daughter was now apparently about to become the guy's room mate and Sam wondered if maybe it wouldn't be Amy biting off more than Amy could cope with right now, it being only a year or two after having lost them both.

Grief took time to heal from and get over.

And constant reminders didn't help that.

Amy switched her little half sister from one side of her lap to the other and took Danny, who was reaching for a handful of her dark brown hair, as she laughed and shook her head, making raspberry noises at him. A few moments went by and just as the parade started, an older woman, two girls around Amy's own age, maybe a little younger and their boyfriends, apparently, as well as an older man rushed over, the older man hugging her birth mother and saying aloud, "Sorry we're late, damned traffic and damned meetings. Lucas is on his way, he's bringing Brad and Felix with him. Is she here?" to which Sam nodded at Amy who gave a smallish quiet wave and said "Hi?" while biting her lower lip.

Amy was totally not prepared for the barrage of questions or hugs she got in the next five to ten minutes. " Whoa, whoa.. Easy, people, tiny person cannot breathe." Amy joked as she stepped back a little and looked around. Names and faces were coming at a literal blur and she took a few deep breaths and then said calmly, "Okay, so.. You weren't lying, Sam, when you said I had a huge family, I guess?" as Sam laughed and shaking her head said "No, I wasn't. This isn't actually all of them, either." as Amy bit her lower lip and nodded. A little boy came over, held out his hand politely, confidently. Amy laughed a little and said "What's your name, little guy?"

"Spencer. Are you really Sam's daughter?"

"Apparently so, little man." Amy mused as Spencer studied her a few moments and then said "I can tell.", smiling confidently as he took off with her little half sister Lila, apparently, towards the sidewalk, a float went by that was throwing out candy.

Britt spotted the girl almost the second Spencer walked away from her and she stopped the little boy, her ex boyfriends son and asked in curiousity, "Is that girl's name Amy?"

"Mhmm.. Why?"

"My brother kinda likes her." Britt said as she rose to standing and her eyes met Nickolas. She managed a polite smile and then said quietly, "Hi."

"What were you doing talking to Spencer?"

"I was just asking him about that girl over there, with your family. My brother.. He likes her?" Britt admitted as she looked at Nickolas and added quickly, "I wasn't trying to pull anything, okay? I know you won't believe that, I've honestly given up trying. I just wanted to actually see the girl that's got my brother so preoccupied lately. I mean hell, I never thought the guy was going to get over Maxie when she finally married Spinelli. That's all." which Nickolas sighed quietly and said "I'm sorry, it's just.. You've done so much in the past."

"I know. And I've said I'm sorry a thousand 't seem to matter in this town."

Amy laughed as Kristina made her way over and said quietly, "You'll get used to it.. It takes a while, but trust me. It's just better to get used to it, not fight having a family so hard. Because my mom and Julian.. They're great but they're very, very intrusive when they wanna be. "

"Ahh.. So nosy, right?" Amy asked as Kristina laughed and said "Mhmm.. They knew about me and Ethan before I ever said a word.. I'm personally gloating though because they have no idea I'm pregnant. Shh.. Our first family secret."

Amy nodded and smiled as her other aunt, Molly approached them. Molly smiled at her and asked, "So, you really lived here almost six months before Sam finally found you?" as Amy laughed a little, nodded and said casually, "Before this, I lived in Vegas. It was kinda cool." as she asked Molly quietly, "Everybody's so talkative.. I thought that it'd be awkward, it's actually not." as Molly laughed and said "This is Rafe, he's my boyfriend.. We're actually thinking of getting married after graduation or something." and Amy smiled at her and then said "That's great. I mean I'm not really the settling kind, but that makes me happy for you." Molly, however, caught the moments sadness and she asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, why?"

"You kind of looked sad just then, I was wondering."

"I was just thinking."

"So, hope you came hungry. Mom got Julian to help her with Thanksgiving dinner, so maybe we won't all wind up eating at Pozzulo's or at whatever else is open." which made Amy laugh and admit "Actually, I was gonna eat at Buffalo Wild Wings until my mother and Maxie both invited me to eat Thanksgiving with them. Should be good food wise for a while, I guess. I may be a girl but I can damn eat, trust me." as Molly laughed and hugged her niece then said quietly, "You'll get used to it. Just give her a chance."

"I'm gonna try." Amy said as she hugged Molly back. Next came her grandmother, who asked with a laugh, "You look nervous, relax." which made Amy shrug and admit that she hadn't ever really been much of a people person. "You'll have to get out of that. We're all really, really close. I've been trying to get you back since you were probably 7." as she started to tear up. Amy felt bad suddenly, for doubting that her birth mother had actually been trying to get her back, raise her. Even if it was still late in life, it was something, right? She had tried. The damn Tuckers though, they'd probably had a thousand different tricks up their sleeves to keep that from happening.

She felt a little angry at the thought.

"I'm Julian.. your grandfather? It feels really, really weird to say that." Julian admitted with a laugh as he looked at Sam's oldest daughter, laughed a little and asked, "You work in that garage down town, huh?"

"Mhmm, yes sir I do. I've been into cars and mechanics since I was probably 6 or 7? I kinda skipped the whole dolls thing. I mean I'm going to college for other stuff too but I really want to own a shop one day." Amy admitted as Julian nodded and said "You will, I just have a feeling. You seem like the determined kind."

She'd just gotten a few moments to herself when a girl wandered over, flopped down onto the picnic table's bench beside her and said "Hi."

"Hey. You work at the hospital, right? Britt.. I think I've seen you come in and eat with Nathan.." Amy asked, Britt laughing, nodding, adding casually, "He's my brother.. If you're wondering. I mean there's already so much stuff going around about me, I've done some really, really stupid things." as she watched Nickolas with Liz and Spencer, Liz's son, all of them together, laughing and happy. Amy shrugged and admitted, "Hey, you're preaching to the choir here, I've done some really, really stupid shit before too.. I used to drink too much, I mean it.. Drinking made me numb, ya know?"

"Yeah.. I get it."

"So.. you're pretty good friends with my brother." Britt asked as Amy shrugged and said "I guess, yeah.. I mean he's a damn good man. Not many cops left actually willing to do their jobs, by the book. " as she raked her hand through her hair, thought about what Britt seemed to be fishing for. Was she going to pull a matchmaking thing like Lulu and Maxie had been since she'd come to town?

"I'm gonna be room mates with him too." Amy said as Britt raised a brow, smiled to herself. She'd vaguely mentioned that maybe placing a room mate advertisement might not be a bad thing after she'd found out that Amy lived in the Metro Court hotel for a while.

"That's good."

"Yeah, he seems like a good guy, I don't think it'll be so bad.. As long as he doesn't delete Sons of Anarchy when I record it or something." Amy joked as Britt laughed and said "I like you."

"I like you."

"Yeah, well, your cousin is probably going to tell you a lot of stuff I've done." Britt said quietly as she watched Nickolas again. Amy shrugged and said "He already kinda has. People screw up, it's human nature. I kinda get the feeling that he is a little unforgiving. Not always a bad thing, not always the best one, either.. Who the hell is that chick he's with? She keeps looking over here at me like she's got a staring problem though."

"That would be Elizabeth."

"Ahh.. The girlfriend. The one that my birth mother and her husband have such a hard time getting his kid Jake from? She's mentioned her, I mean.." Amy asked as Britt nodded and said quietly, "Mhmm. And I don't blame Sam one little bit for not liking her."

"Me either.. There's just something about her, rubs me the wrong way, ya know?"

Amy happened to see Nathan walking over, she bit her lower lip and Britt waved at her brother. The usual liquid fire in the pit of Amy's stomach started to bubble and boil and she stood and said "Probably need to let you two have time or whatever." which Britt shook her head but Amy said quietly, "I'm gonna go spend some more time with my mother's family.. I'll see you around though, right? Come in the Rib, we're gonna bring back karaoke, it's gonna be epic." as she walked away, making a hasty retreat that did not go missed by Nathan who mused aloud, "There she goes again.. For whatever reason, sis, I make her nervous as hell. Any ideas?"

" Her face lit up when she saw you though.. I mean she kinda looked sad for a minute, but her face definitely lit up." Britt offered as Nathan watched Amy with her family, shook his head, smiled to himself as he watched Amy chasing her younger half sister around, picking the little girl up, swinging her a little. "I like her, Nathan."

"Yeah.. I do too. A lot.. Just have to figure out how to get closer to her.. Shouldn't be too hard, I mean she's gonna be my room mate now." Nathan said as Britt laughed and nodded then said "She actually just told me that."

"Oh really. So you two talked about me, huh?"

"Yeah, a little bit. But I'm not telling. I mean it wasn't anything big." Britt said as Nathan pouted a moment, gave up finally when he realized that Britt wasn't going to tell him what was said.


	10. Thanksgiving Day Part II

NINE

The lake front cabin was crowded, everyone was talking, laughing, everyone kept asking her questions and trying to draw her out of herself. It was something Amy wasn't used to, not even a little. She kind of liked it, the crowd of family she found herself in currently felt more like home, more like a family than her adoptive family had ever been. At the Tuckers, things were stiff and cold, formal and unfeeling. Here, in Port Charles, with her birth mother's family, with all of the friends they all apparently had, it felt more like she belonged, things were relaxed, easy..

She was currently sitting on the couch, wedged between her uncle Lucas and his boyfriend Felix, both of them were shouting at the football game playing on her grandfather's big flat screen television. For shits and giggles, for the better part of ten minutes, she'd been cheering for the opposing team. The opposing team scored and she leapt up, shrieked in triumph, which made Lucas smile and look at Felix, admit aloud, "Thinking my niece is probably going to be one of my favorite family members." which made Felix chuckle, shake his head as he joked with Amy, "Girl.. Your momma was not a glassmaker. I'm trying to check out Romo." which made Amy joke back, "That's all good, Felix, but.. Romo doesn't even have an ass.. Not even your typical small guy butt." as she took a bite of her turkey, looked at the screen then said "That offensive lineman on the other team though.. Damn."

From behind her, Molly laughed and Rafe said casually, "Ten dollars on the other team winning. Dallas has a thing.. They choke on the big ones."

This, of course, made all 3 of the perverted thinking individuals, Amy included, who were currently squeezed on the couch look at one another and start to almost roll in laughter, with Ethan speaking up casually, "Can't say a bloody thing to 'em, mate, they'll take it wrong." as Kristina nodded and added in, "They've been doing this for the better part of an hour now, you'd think between the three of them they'd run out of dirty ways to take things."

"I know you three are not in here making dirty jokes again." Sam teased, her daughter looking up, mouth full of turkey, trying to breathe and not choke while laughing as she shook her head and shrugging said "I got no idea what you're talking about." which made Sam laugh and Jason remark casually, "You say that, Amy, but the fact that you're almost choking on turkey over there? Kinda suggests otherwise." as he took a bite of his dressing and then added, "Seriously though.. Stop eating like chipmunk or a Marine who's late for PT before you choke."

Amy gave the thumbs up and stood, grabbing her empty tea glass, wandering into the kitchen where Alexis and Nickolas sat at the table. "Sorry, I was out of tea.." Amy apologized politely as Alexis smiled warmly at her, patted the empty seat beside her and said quietly, "Sit down.. We just wanted to talk to you.. We really didn't get to talk much earlier.. I wanted to make sure you did know just how hard your mother tried to fight to get you back. If we'd had more on our side then, Amy, I'm confident we would've."

"I.. I think I'm kind of starting to get it." Amy said as she looked at her family gathered in the next room, most of the guys in the room irritated currently because her grandfather had wandered in and grabbed one of the three remotes hidden throughout the den and changed the channel to hockey, sat down, started watching while explaining, "Hockey is a real sport.. Football nowdays.. You can't even really touch the other guy."

Amy turned her attention back to the conversation she was currently in, with her grandmother and Nickolas, who was related to her also, but she forgot how close or what his title was, and said quietly, " I've.. I've actually never had a real family Thanksgiving before. I'm glad you guys wanted me here." as Nickolas spoke up and said quietly, "When Sam first came to town, after she and Alexis figured out that she was the daughter Alexis was searching for, every year.. Sam would make us save a seat at the table. I think she was hoping that today would finally happen."

Amy nodded and as she poured her tea into the glass, sipped it, she thought about this. Sitting back down, she admitted quietly, "I wondered about her a lot.. I mean Amanda, she told me a lot of conflicting things, a lot of lies.." as she looked at her grandmother who nodded and said quietly, "I thought so." the two females going silent again.

Alexis looked at Amy, half tempted to at least ask her about what Sam had found out, through extensive digging into Amy's past, about Amy losing a child, the struggles with alcohol she'd had for a while, but for the moment she kept it all in.

Maybe soon, she thought, Amy would be comfortable enough around all of them to actually talk more about herself. For now, they just had to focus on making sure seh knew she'd been wanted, she would have been loved and raised in a better home had Alexis been able to get her back from the Tucker family back then.


	11. Thanksgiving Day Concluded

TEN

"Sorry I'm late, I just left my grandmother's house." Amy admitted as she rushed into Maxie and Spinelli's crowded and very noisy apartment. She bit her lower lip when she noticed that apparently, Maxie and Spinelli had invited Nathan West to the dinner plans today too. She quickly shot her best friend a dirty look but held out the tin of cookies and mused aloud, "Someone kinda ate three already. They think I didn't notice." which made Nathan chuckle a little and shrug, hold her gaze boldly for a few moments.

She licked her lips and coughed, then flopped down into a chair at the small dinette table, popped the top on a light beer and took a long sip as she said "So, I think I'm gonna try it.. Giving my birth family a chance.. I mean today, just.. It felt normal.. Like no awkwardness." as Maxie smiled and nodding said through a mouth full, "Good. So... How is it, I mean, being room mates with Nathan?" her eyes almost glowing as she asked, Amy could just sort of sense that Maxie was looking for anything to indicate that she may or may not have a thing for Nathan and Amy, of course, was determined not to give in to it.

She instead shrugged and cut herself a slice of pecan pie then said through a mouth full, "It's pretty normal, I mean there hasn't been any awkwardness or anything, if that's what you're asking." as Maxie grumbled and shook her head, pouted a moment and then said in a whisper, "That's totally not what I meant and you know it, Amy. Come on... Please? I know something has to have happened in the few days you've been living with him."

Amy smirked and leaned in then said casually, "Other than his habit? Nothing really.."

"What habit?"

"The walking around in a towel thing.. Which I gotta admit, it's not bad.." Amy teased a little, Maxie and Lulu both swatting at her when they realized she was of course being a sarcastic shit again, really, she was known for it, they should've known she'd bait them a little. "You're no fun.. Like at all."

"Am too!" Amy pretended to be upset as she finished off her pie, then her beer and asked, "Why.. I mean did he say anything?" which made her two best friends fall silent and look at each other. Amy bit her lower lip nervously and Lulu burst into laughter then nudging Maxie said casually, "Well, that just proved our theory, huh?"

"You totally like him."

"I do not.. He's.. He's a damn good guy, he's fun.. That's it." Amy grumbled as she tossed her beer into the garbage, grabbed a soda a few moments later and sipping it she asked, "Seriously though.. Has he said anything?"

"Oh, he's said something.. We're just not going to tell you.. It wouldn't do any good anyway, because you'd just do what you've done every other time we try and get you to go with a guy on a date, you'd plug your ears and hum the Walking Dead theme song or something. What is it about you and dating? I mean you can't have had that bad of an experience.." Lulu said as she fixed her eyes on her friend, concerned.

"Kinda, but kinda not.. It was amazing, girls.. I loved this one guy. He loved me.. We were perfect.. Then he was gone.. Now I'm just kind of not sure I even wanna ever try again, you know? Like I think about it and.. I feel so damn guilty.. But Nathan..."

"Yeah?"

"Nothing, forget it.. I'll just say he feels familiar and leave it alone.. You guys need to, too." Amy begged as she drummed her fingers against the dinette table and asked, "So.. How was your Thanksgiving so far?"

"Pretty good.. Mom and Mack had to go and help Anna with something, but Mack said he'd be back later, and he wanted you to save him at least two of those cookies.. Not sure that's going to be possible." Maxie joked as she nodded to the counter where Spinelli and Nathan as well as Johnny were sneaking in and out of the small kitchen with hands full of the cookies. Amy grumbled and then laughing she shrugged and said "All it is is dough from the store, damn."

"And rum." Lulu spoke up as she added, "What? You can definitely taste the rum in these." which made Amy shrug, make a mock zipping of her lips and shake her head, nodding it in Nathan's direction as she said "He'd probably have a fit.."

"Actually, the rum's pretty good." Nathan spoke up from behind her, making her face go red, making her choke on one of her own cookies. He patted her shoulder, chuckling as he shook his head then said with a wink, "You have a loud mouth." which made Lulu and Maxie burst into laughter as Amy glared at him for a moment then say through a mouth full, "Really.. So.. Does snoring count in this, officer, cause if it does, damn.. Last night, ladies, I'm trying to get my Juice and Sons of Anarchy fix for the week.. He was snoring on the other end of the couch so damn loud that I had to crank the tv up full blast.." which made Nathan give her a dirty look but then using a cough to mask it say "Sleepwalker".

"Haha.. Fuck you, officer." Amy joked, a wink in his direction as Nathan winked back, chuckled and mumbled something to himself. They'd become friends since she'd been living there the past few days, it wasn't even nearly as awkward as either of them initially considered the living situation they were in currently would've been.. Considering just how he made Amy feel every single time she saw him, the things she wanted when she was around him a lot... It was probably a good thing.. And all the more reason for her to keep quiet about what she was dealing with as best as she could..

Because things were going great right now, they were actually able to joke and be friends, and she did not want to lose that. Not because she told him all this intense stuff that happened to her in her past and he bailed or something.. Not and her lose probably her best male friend in town..


	12. Should I Let Him In?

ELEVEN

As soon as he stepped off the elevator, he could smell food being cooked, or rather, what smelled like an attempt at food being cooked. He walked into the apartment and chuckled quietly as he heard Amy swearing like a sailor on leave while opening all the windows and fanning at smoke that was coming out of the oven. He reached out and turned off the Ipod, which had been blasting Poison moments before and he asked in amusement, "Problems?" as he leaned against the doorway, coughing a little, fanning at the air.

"Oh kiss my fuckin ass, officer." Amy grumbled as she pointed to the stove, to the food she'd been trying to cook as she raked her hand through her hair and said "I attempted to make food. As we can see, Nathan, it didn't work." which made him smile a little then ask casually, "Any reason?"

"Because, damn it, you had that shootout, okay? I figured the least I could do, Nathan, since you were downtown getting your ass shot at and stuff, was throw a thing or two in the damn oven. Apparently, can't even do that shit right.. Then again, this was Kristina's recipe.." which made Nathan laugh harder. Kristina peeked in and asked with a mock pout, "Hey.. What's that for?"

"Nothing, it's just Ethan mentioned the time you tried making a cake for his birthday and the fire department came." Nathan said as Kristina glared at Amy a moment and Amy shrugged as she said calmly, "What? It was kinda just us talking, it may have come out.."

"Right.." Kristina muttered, smiling to herself a little. She knew, of course, why Amy was in the kitchen of Nathan's apartment, trying to cook something, she did it too when Ethan took a little too long to come home from a business thing with Johnny, who he co owned the club/casino boat with now.. She also knew how Amy felt about Nathan, how he looked almost exactly like the spitting image of a man her niece loved and lost and how Amy had admitted she might be sort of falling for the guy, how she was definitely drawn to him or something.

Ethan stepped into the apartment and called out, "Luv, are you ready to go? Reservations at Pozzulos are hard to reschedule. And we have a lot to celebrate.." which made Kristina smile and rush to his arms, kissing him as she asked, "Well?"

"We might have gotten a townhouse, yes." Ethan said as Kristina shrieked in joy and hugged against him, said quietly, "And we might know what I'm having too.. And I might tell you.. If you want to know?"

"Let's leave these two, huh?" Ethan whispered as he brushed his lips to Kristina's forehead and coughing asked Nathan in a joking tone, "Let me guess, mate.. She tried to cook."

"Basically, yeah." Nathan said as he watched Amy trying to straighten up her mess while swearing and turning his back, he asked Ethan and Kristina, " She seem jumpier to you two this week than normal? I mean I've heard her usual nightmares but the past three nights.." which made Kristina sigh and looking to make sure Amy had no idea they were talking, she grabbed Nathan's hand and lead him outside the apartment, shut the door behind them and said quietly, "You look exactly like this guy.. They were head over heels in love.. They were going to have a kid and then got in a wreck.. The wreck killed the guy, it caused Amy to miscarry and it almost killed her.. And lately, the more time she spends around you, Nathan, the more she sort of feels things.. And she's trying to keep from feeling things."

Nathan stood there, taking in what was said, then he asked quietly, "Is that it? Because I mean that explains all the other times.. But lately, she's twice as jumpy, she's snappy and moody.." which Ethan mused aloud, "Could have something to do with the holidays coming up, mate.. Sam did tell us that she lost them around Thanksgiving CHristmas and New Years."

Kristina nodded and said quietly, "Either way, Nathan, you like her a lot.. I can tell, don't even stand there and try to hide it, okay? She needs that. She deserves what Ethan and I have.. If anyone's gonna make a move first, it's going to have to be you, she's too scared, too closed off. Just don't rush things, okay?"

Nathan nodded and as the two of them got onto the elevator, he walked back into the apartment and up behind her, making her jump and scowl at him, making him laugh as he suggested casually, "The Floating Rib has good steaks.. Wanna go grab a bite to eat?"

"Yeah.. I could eat. I'm fucking starved, actually. And work was brutal today. The heat went out in my garage bay.." Amy babbled nervously, her eyes catching his as she realized they seemed to be migrating closer together for whatever reason. He lifted her hand, shook his head and said calmly, "First.. To the ER.. That gaping cut across your fist, Amy, should've been stitched."

"I used superglue." Amy argued, but Nathan's firm and concerned look, the way he was holding onto her hand made her fall silent. She bit her lower lip and said s tiffly, "Fine, damn it.. But it's just a cut."

"That needs to be cleaned out and stitched up correctly. Why in the hell would you use superglue?" Nathan asked, raising a brow at her as she shrugged and muttered something. He helped her into her jacket and they walked out of the apartment.

The whole way to the ER, she kept wondering just how much longer she could actually keep him at arms length when every single time she turned around, he was doing stuff like this, making it harder for her not to let him in. She wanted to, so badly.. But she was just too damn afraid to do it.

Maybe Kristina was right when she'd said earlier that day that sometimes risks weren't always a bad thing.. But was she really ready to take a risk this big? All she did know was that she was sick of fighting him off and she couldn't actually, anymore.


End file.
